Cleaning Up After the Invisible Party Monster
After long three day weekends you may be glancing around your house and wondering, What happened here? Did a hurricane blow through? Did it rain beer bottles and soda cans? Did dirty dishes erupt from a crack in the earth?
No, it wasn’t a freak weather event.
You’ve just been attacked. Attacked by the invisible party monster. At least this is the operating theory I developed after four years in college. The invisible party monster that sneaks into your home and scatters bottles, plates, and other assorted sundries across the house just seemed a lot more realistic than freak weather events that rained empty beer bottles and plastic plates.
If you’re suffering from an attack of the Invisible Party Monster today here are 5 things to help you put your life back in order.
1. Start Somewhere
The Invisible Party Monster is an indiscriminate beast that attacks every room in your house. This is why you woke to find a half eaten plate of barbecue ribs in your shower this morning. So when you clean up the next morning, start somewhere, anywhere.
Typically I like to start in the worst rooms in the house and work from there. This generally means I start in the living room and kitchen, and then expand my cleaning range outward to other rooms in the house.
2. Bag Up Your Trash and Recyclables
Grab a fistful of trash bag and start plowing trash into them. Try to separate out your recyclables from your trash and keep them in separate bags. Then what do you do? If you had a big enough party you may have more trash than can fit in your curbside collection. If you have a lot of trash, a service like Green Clean Junk Removal Service’s event trash pick up, is an option. Another option is to haul your recyclables to a recycling center and your trash to a public landfill.
3. Tackle the Dishes
Dirty dishes are the foulest weapon in the Invisible Party Monster’s arsenal. Those dishes are spread out everywhere and seem to replicate by themselves. Alas, there really are no quick tips for cleaning dishes from a party. You just have to buckle down and wash them. My general strategy is to clean pots and pans first, then pile dishes and silverware into the dishwasher.
4. You’re Almost There, Now Grab a Rag and A Mop
Time to seek out and destroy all the party fouls. The beer spill on the coffee table. The whisky spill on the carpet. The soda sloshed on the curtains. So grab a clean cloth, a bit of lukewarm water, and a mild detergent. Remember to dab and blot stains, never rub or scrub. For really bad stains you may want to call a professional furniture or carpet cleaner.
5. Suck it Up and Vacuum
That rug really ties the room together and everyone at your party loved it, which is why they kept stepping on it. No worries. You’re an adult and this is why adults own vacuums. Make sure you do multiple passes across a rug and avoid sucking up small objects that can ruin your vacuum over the long term.
And then you’re done. Hopefully. The attack of the invisible party monster beaten back until the next three day weekend and the next party.
